A Day In The Life Of An Avid Self Harmer

Self-Harm is very misunderstood I have talked to patients who have even had problems with professionals. A young girl I know who self harms was told by a nurse you’re just seeking attention but I can assure you that you won’t get it from me!

I don’t understand her or why she self harms
Just look at the state of her legs and her arms
They whisper in corners they stare at my scars
As if I’m an alien that’s landed from Mars
The temptation to cut is always there
To relieve my feelings of utter despair
A voice in my head screams cut go on cut
Year in and year out I’m stuck in this rut
The blade sinks so easily into my skin
Sweet relief from the pain I’m constantly in
Endorphins swim through my tired brain
But it’s easy to cope with the physical pain
Attention seeker I hear them say
Unaware of the struggle day after day
My negative feelings load every dice
An innocent child paid the highest price
I’m locked in a cupboard under the stairs
Nobody hears me nobody cares
Through the years of abuse when I was a child
The perpetrators amazement when I became wild
I imagine a Mother loving serene
I wake with a start it’s only a dream
I pray for sleep I pray for peace
I stare at the ceiling there is no release
I reach for the blade temptation’s too strong
I’m filled with disgust they tell me it’s wrong
The blood oozes out and in an instant I’m calmer
Just a day in the life of an avid self- harmer.