Gritting My Teeth For The Fight

(Chris had just given up an office job after 10 weeks, his
4th attempt to work, and had returned to Thurrock. Mind,
I was passing the allotment where he and other clients were working, it was a very cold November morning by then I was having a terrible job coping myself. Hopefully this will explain how I felt)

I feel cold as I watch from the car
You’ve a woolly hat over your ears
As I watch you digging the ground
I can’t possibly stop the tears

The ground is very hard
Very similar to your life
Acceptance so far removed
Though reality cuts like a knife

This life isn’t what we’ve planned
In fact nothing like it at all
Things were going so well
Til we all hit a giant wall

We hit it with so much force
That it shattered us to the core
Left us in disbelief
Wondering what it’s all for

But still you keep digging away
You work alongside the others
I think about their lives too
The affects on their fathers and mothers

They must find it as hard as we do
They share our relentless pain
They must try to work out why it’s happened
Over and over again

They’ve advised us to join a group
Try to share our worries and fears
But we still can’t believe it’s true
So it’s falling on very deaf ears

Can you see how it would help
Seeing so many others in pain
I shudder at the thought
As I notice it’s started to rain

You’re cupping a mug of tea
Leaning against your spade
You’re not even aware that I’m here
Oblivious to how hard I’ve prayed

You’re wearing your fingerless gloves
A present from Christmas last year
Why do they make me feel sad?
I brush away yet another tear

Then a sudden spark of hope
As I watch you all digging the ground
It ignites new inspiration
As I see the courage you’ve found

Behind the blackened clouds
Shines a tiny chink of light
I start up the car to go home
Gritting my teeth for the fight.